Ransomware News Recap: A Rollercoaster Ride of Cyber Shenanigans

Last week in the wild world of ransomware was like a soap opera meets a heist movie. Picture this: RansomHub, the newest sensation in the cybercrime universe, decided to flex its digital muscles by nabbing Change Healthcare’s data. It’s like they snatched the crown jewels of US healthcare payment processing, except instead of jewels, it’s sensitive information.

Reports swirled that Change Healthcare coughed up a cool $22 million to the BlackCat/ALPHV ransomware syndicate. But hold onto your bitcoins, because here’s the kicker: the ransomware-as-a-service group did a Houdini act with the cash, leaving their affiliate, who went by the nickname ‘notchy,’ high and dry. Talk about a double-cross straight out of a spy flick.

Meanwhile, Wired magazine jumped into the fray, confirming RansomHub’s possession of Change Healthcare’s data. They even provided samples of patient records and contracts, like some twisted cyber show-and-tell.

Lesson learned? Paying ransom is like feeding a stray cat—it just keeps coming back for more. It’s like giving your lunch money to the school bully, only to find out they’ve already spent it on candy.

And speaking of consequences, the US Department of Health & Human Services Office for Civil Rights (OCR) decided to crash Change Healthcare’s party with an investigation. They’re digging into whether Change Healthcare played by the rules when it comes to safeguarding Protected Healthcare Information (PHI). It’s like the cyber equivalent of a surprise health inspection.

But wait, there’s more! Data exfiltration is the new black in the ransomware fashion world. It’s not just about locking up your files; it’s about swiping them and holding them for ransom too. It’s like a kidnapper demanding ransom for your kidnapped cat, and then also asking for money to give you back its fur.

Now, the price tag for all this drama? Change Healthcare is staring at nearly $1 billion in remediation costs. That’s enough to make even the most seasoned CFO break out in a cold sweat. It’s like trying to put a price on a tornado ripping through your data center—it’s chaos with a hefty bill attached.

But fear not, dear readers, for amidst the chaos, there’s hope. It’s time to take a page from the cyber playbook and start measuring resilience like a pro. Forget about counting calories; we’re counting Mean Time to Detect (MTTD) and Mean Time to Respond (MTTR). It’s like hitting the gym but for your cybersecurity muscles.

So, buckle up, fellow netizens, because, in the world of ransomware, every week is a rollercoaster ride. Just remember to hold onto your data and maybe invest in some cyber insurance while you’re at it. You never know when RansomHub might come knocking on your digital door.